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Sweet, sweet trail through Banff National Park on the Great Divide Trail

A humorous take on the Great Divide Trail through the Canadian Rockies

Nothing tells truth like humor.

Last August and September, Naomi “The Punisher” and I hiked the Great Divide Trail through the Canadian Rockies. While I never blogged about it, now is the time.

I’m gonna save you a lot of reading and let this Top Ten List cut to the meat of a hike that was beautiful, immensely challenging, and deeply rewarding.

Near the high point of the Great Divide Trail

Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear on the GDT:

10) This rock is really grippy.

9) I decided to bounce my tarp and rain gear.

8) There’s not a cloud in the sky.

7) I’m gonna cool off by going for a swim.

6) The permit reservation system was so easy.

5) “The herd” or “The bubble”

4) The other thru-hikers I met became lifelong friends.

3) I don’t know why you need an umbrella on a thru-hike.

2) The trail is really dusty.

1) I brought too much chocolate.

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Mossy spring on the Great Divide Trail

Top Ten Things You’ll Only Hear on the GDT

10) Hooray! I found some poop! We must be on trail!

9) I bounced my sunglasses.

8) This grizzly poop looks delicious

7) I wish there was a steaming grizzly poop to warm my hands

6) Postholing in moss

5) Gotta finish before my float plane leaves

4) I wish there were mountain bikers on this trail

3) Just lost my shoe in a s%&*-bog

2) Mud glissading and mud mountaineering

1) Expect to pay $5.99 for ONE PowerBar

Bonus: Eh?

 

*Actual experiences may differ. Of course, the GDT isn’t the only trail/route where these things are said/done. Take these Top Tens with a grain of humor.